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Stage Four

by touche amore

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02:11
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03:39
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02:26
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02:47
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03:52
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03:53

credits

released September 16, 2016

Touché amoré is
jeremy bolm: vocals
clayton stevens: guitar
nick steinhardt: guitar
elliot babin: drums
tyler kirby: bass

All songs written by
Touché Amoré / Published by condolences, Evol Sister, 23db Music, Hurt Guy Inc,
Beer Champion (SESAC)

Recorded, mixed and produced by Brad Wood at Seagrass Studios, Valley Village, CA

drums recorded at steakhouse studio, north hollywood, ca

additional vocals on ‘skyscaper’ by julien baker

Mastered by emily lazar at
the lodge, new york, ny

Art Direction & Design: Nick Steinhardt
Collage: Anthony Gerace
Photography: Ryan Aylsworth

Management: Blaze James, rocnation

Legal: Paul Sommerstein
Booking: Merrick Jarmulowicz
for Ground Control Touring
(Europe): Steve Strange for
XRay Touring

Thank you: Blaze james, Merrick jarmulowicz, brad wood, brett gurewitz, dave hansen, christine morales, matt mcgreevey, jason link, jeff abarta, rhonda jessee, Alex estrada, Zach tuch, Dewey thomas, alex merchant, Krzysztof paciorek, Matt schmitz, Dave Summers, Joey Cahill, Bobby Kowalski, Andy Clarke, Evan Sebastian, mike richter, Tre mccarthy, jake bannon, rich rossi, stephanie marlow, katy ables, steve strange, josh javor, Matt farrar, Aaron vishria, tim mckee, Emmett menke, Dan lemley, our families, loved ones and bands we call both

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about

touche amore Los Angeles, California

Touche Amore is a Los Angeles, CA based punk band whose earnest and artful approach to song writing, along with relentless touring, fueled their rise to prominence in the hardcore community. In 2013, Touche Amore crossed into new territory with their beloved release "Is Survived By." Now from a band both living its dream and marred by loss comes "Stage Four. ... more

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Track Name: Flowers and You
I’m heartsick
and well rehearsed
Highly decorated
with a badge that reads
“it could be worse”
So prideful I choose
to live in disguise
with a levee set
for my heavy eyes

I apologize for the grief
When you’d refuse to eat
I didn’t know
just what to say
While watching you
wither away

I’m homesick
and living in the past
Seemingly unfazed and strong if anyone asks
I’m keeping up appearances with white lies
with a levee set
for my heavy eyes

I apologize for the grief
When you’d talk about belief
I didn’t know
just what to say
While watching you
wither away

it was time this whole time
we can’t undo or rewind

Just a simple conversation
About nothing much at all
Couldn’t keep me in the room
I just kept walking
down the hall
But now I understand
Just what a fool I’d been
No matter what the context
I won’t have that time again
(and I live with that)

I took inventory
of what I took for granted and I ended up with more than I imagined
I’ve kept it bottled up and to myself in the cellar kept for my ever-changing mental health
Track Name: New Halloween
Somehow it’s already been a year
Embracing all diversions to make this feeling disappear
Now I just feel you everywhere
It coincides with the guilt of knowing that I wasn’t there

I was told that you wouldn’t have known
Told myself I was where you’d want me to be
(but it’s not that easy)

I tried to be your light
Did my best to shine
Nothing I do feels right
As I went out all the time

How has it already been
a year?
I skip over songs, because they’re too hard to hear
Like track two on Benji
or “What Sarah Said”
They just hit too close when I’m already in my head

I was told that you were half asleep
Told myself you would be proud of me
(but it’s not that easy)

Somehow it’s already been a year
You keep finding new ways to make yourself reappear
I hope you never leave me be
I haven’t found the courage to listen to your last message to me
Track Name: Rapture
With so much gloom surrounding
I feel cornered up against a wall
Pulled down and slowly drowning
Taking bets on who is
next to fall

I saw the glass
as half full
So I felt I could ask
for more
I was comfortable
It spilled over onto
the floor
I begged to go back
to before
With the damage done
And the damage won

Like a wave
Like the rapture
Something you love is gone

Like a wave
Like the rapture
Something you love is gone
Someone you love is gone
And leaves you fractured

i saved the worst for last
Track Name: Displacement
You died at 69
With a body full of cancer
I asked your god
“how could you”
But I never heard an answer

No one saw it coming
the Diagnosis of stage four
The bravest woman I knew
That survived it once before

Last week I crashed my car
I walked away unscathed
Maybe that was you
Asking me to keep my faith

You’d cry at the thought
Of never seeing me again
If there was an afterlife
Or what you’d call heaven

I’ve never felt so selfish, it’s not what I prefer
I always kept it honest, especially for her
She gave me her best,
she swore I was her heart
I couldn’t worship the god that let her fall apart

I’m not sure what I believe
well I think that’s understood
but I know she’s looking out for me
The way she said she would
Track Name: Benediction
It’s an ugly day in Glendale in a place that you once knew
Where you helped that senile woman that now has outlived you
I’m still taking it all in
I’m adapting to this loss
I wonder if she
remembers you
How could she have forgotten

There’s a crack in this shell and some light is shining through
As I sorted through the pieces that told the stories I never knew
You left a hole in this earth and you paid for it up front
I had to fill it with dirt while your friend sang
the song

May the Lord, mighty God,
Bless and keep you forever;
Grant you peace,
perfect peace,
Courage in every endeavor

It was a sunny day in Norfolk next to the tree that caught your eye
I walked the ground you grew on with my brother at my side
I’m still taking it all in
I’m adapting to this loss
People say with time
it gets easier
But I just think that they
are wrong
Track Name: Eight Seconds
There is no dress rehearsal
Just a script that I’ve never read
A sad story that is universal
A vague idea of what
to expect

Is it curtains already
I haven’t learned my lines
Is it curtains already
I just thought that we’d have more time

A missed call with a message attached
“We need to talk when you have a chance”
I stood frozen in that Gainesville venue
Not knowing how to react

Is it curtains already?
I haven’t learned my lines
Is it curtains already?
I’ll improvise

Not surprising I put off the call
Socialized and put up
a wall
Anything to prolong
the chances
Before confirming she was really gone
I crossed SW 2nd Street
Made the call and stared at my feet
“She passed away about
an hour ago
While you were onstage living the dream”
Track Name: Palm Dreams
What was it that brought you west?
I assumed but can
only guess
It’s the questions that went unasked
That appear when time
has passed
It felt like many years
Taking apart our home
I dug through 40 years
All alone

On my own

Was it all the palm trees
Placed where they shouldn’t be
That made you feel complete
In this land of make believe

Like going 65 on the 5 at 5

I am still bereaved
Come every ocean breeze

What was it that brought you west?
Where I lay my head to rest
Track Name: Softer Spoken
When words are softer spoken, they often sound the best
Now so interwoven they’ve burrowed in my chest

I’m all used up I’m out
of steam
Vacationing somewhere
in between
A city named catharsis and the other called empty
In one I feel so common and the other I am royalty

I’m seeking out a place, one to give me peace
(and everything between)
Because ever since you died
I can’t control anything
Everything feels new
built from catastrophe
Just when I get a hold
it slips away from me

I’ve always relied on melody
I’ve come to rely on love
But there’s absence
in my heart
when I know I have enough
Track Name: Posing Holy
A sugar scented sinful message that everyone saw through
Now subterfuge and Manhattan blues seem to dictate my mood

I’ve counted blessings while confessing
I’ve some to spare
Beg or borrow
swallow sorrow
I’ve come prepared

It’s a right of passage
It’s a torch to carry
When you feel that damage
And it’s extraordinary

The oscillating toll it’s taking on everyone involved
We’ll find connections through extensions to not feel so alone

It’s an initiation
Conducted at bedside
To a steady beat
To help keep time

We’re all focused on holding onto
All that we have got
While we’re drifting slowly and posing holy
for all that we are not
Track Name: Water Damage
You couldn’t help
but spill your glass
onto that night stand
So that wood
raised and cracked
You came to have such shaky hands

Those patriotic coffee cups that came in a set of four, became three when I found a handle broken off on the tile floor
Where you used to cook our meals while you watched that small TV that was so dangerously placed above the kitchen sink they’ve all gone away

Again I find myself focused on the insignificance
Like there will be a revelation that’ll make a difference

That night when you
took the wrong dose
and weren’t making any sense is a night that I often remember and one
I wish I COULD forget
but it’s there to stay

It’s been replaying
over and over
The words they echo
over and over
When you leaned in and said
“We both know what this is”
And I haven’t
recovered since
Track Name: Skyscraper
Atop the skyscraper
One hundred and two floors
New York City
It was yours

You live there
under the lights

Below the busy streets
We watched your dreams unfold
New York City
It’s all yours